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Why STEVE BUCKNOR Hates India - OurHFM


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> Why STEVE BUCKNOR Hates India, His Interview
dnjham
post Jan 9 2008, 01:25 AM
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Hi Friends

Just Got this Interview


STEVE BUCKNOR aka CHEAP DUCKNOR


This guy is more of a vampire rather than an umpire. Blind as a bat, deaf as a post, Cheap Ducknor is nothing but a dumb guy who believes in seeking cheap thrills. Our sports correspondent Bored Masoomdoor interviewed the jerk and came back convinced about his sub-human intellect and abysmal knowledge of the rules of cricket.

BM: What seems to be your problem, Mr Ducknor? Why is the Indian team at the receiving end of your poor decisions?

CD: Who said that? I cannot see anyone but can hear some voices. Can you come closer?

BM: I am sitting opposite to you. Do you have problems with your eyes?

CD: Yeah and I cannot hear much either.

BM: Ok, forget that and answer my question.

CD: Its all due to the Indian film industry.

BM: How is that?

CD: Some years ago I had approached a famous Indian director for a role in an upcoming movie. I was to be the lead joker of the movie. The movie never took off and all my dreams were grounded and I swore revenge. It was then that I decided to become an umpire to take revenge on every Indian. I found many other aspiring jokers in the ICC who were more than willing to accept me in their fold.

BM: So you became a vampire I mean umpire for taking revenge?

CD: Yes, and I am doing pretty well, dont you agree?

BM: Have you completely given up on your acting dreams?

CD: No that time when the cameras caught me aping Rahul Dravid, I was actually practicing my usual routine. I often practice that in between matches.

BM: That's is why you have no time to concentrate on the match and make correct decisions, right?

CD: Precisely

BM: But, if you have no time to see each delivery, how do you make decisions?

CD: Its a very scientific process. I watch the expression on the face of the batsman, the intensity of appeal, reaction of the crowds and of course finally I do a toss in my mind and decide. In case of Rahul, since he's the Wall and all, I just give him out as I love to see the frustration on his face and the relief on the face of the bowler.

BM: Arent you ashamed? Doing drama on the field and abusing your powers as an umpire?

CD: You people should be ashamed. All I asked for was a role as a joker in a b-grade movie. Was it too much to ask for? If you had given me that chance, you wouldn't have had to see the freak show that I put up every time India plays and I officiate.

BM: How will you continue like this?

CD: As long as possible. Besides these days I am receiving plenty of fan mail. The other day I got a mail from someone claiming to be from Al faeyda. He told me that he was impressed with the way I harass the Indian team and wanted to know if he could take up umpiring for other sports involving the United States.

BM: Is it true that you had some sort of offer from Madam Taussauds?

CD: Yes, they wanted to know if I could chip in for a dummy that has been sent for repairs. They wanted me to stand in the museum instead of the dummy. I have agreed as I have plenty of experience standing emotionless and brain dead.

Rgds

Dipak
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oye_sonu
post Jan 10 2008, 01:01 PM
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hi

Did you read the TOI article on Umpires who have given bad decison for india?

Among those 3 two were from West Indies - Clive lyod and one colli??(??) were those who gave lot of controversial decisions against india. ( yes third one will be steve ! )

Indians in West indies dont enjoy a great reputation with Blacks of west indies........this could be one reason !


Sonu
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